So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
