Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
