butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
