I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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