Whod you bang
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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