You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
