Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
