I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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