so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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