Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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