Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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