i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
