I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize