It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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