he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize