So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
