I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize