actually, I'm a sock model
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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