So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize