Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize