I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
