New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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