I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize