If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
