walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
