Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize