I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
