My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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