waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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