it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
