she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
