Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
