my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
