don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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