whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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