my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I have post one night stand depression
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
