just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
