her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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