She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I touched a dick in church today
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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