The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize