I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
