I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
