He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
