if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
