Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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