32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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