hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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