Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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