i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
