You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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