Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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