No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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