I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
