yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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