Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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