I can tuck mytits in my pants
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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