I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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