I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If I die, sorry about rent.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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