I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
