He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize