Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
