You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
