so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
