There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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