There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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