I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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