Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
