im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
