hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
