Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
