Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
