I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
